lego pieces

I woke up this morning with a thought about the late 30's & 40-something's that are out there in the world right now. In my city. On my radar, or not. Trying to date. or find someone to date.

The thought was this:
In our 20's we walk around with invisible lego bumps sticking out - facing others we encounter. If we are lucky (and we usually are it's just that most of us don't recognize it), we find "the one" that fits us perfectly and we fall in love and they fall in love with us. And you start a life together - and if you are smart (and we usually aren't during these years, but we just don't recognize it) we manage to navigate the rough terrain of a relationship and give as well as take, and we are on our way.

But if you are one of the unfortunate ones, who found a person with a set of lego bumps that complimented yours, and then lost them, you will spend a lifetime trying to find another set of perfect lego bumps.  And you will try, oh you will try... you'll even try and mash someone's bumps into yours and make them stick in an unnatural way but it won't stay.  And it will look very promising sometimes, and there will even come a time when you'll refuse to admit that you ever had those lego bumps in the first place.
But by then, in your late 30's or 40's, yours will have worn down and some edges will have smoothed out and you will still try to find that "click" we all talk about, that "fit", that "spark" - but whatever you call it, in the back of your mind, you know that you had it once and now you don't.

A dear friend that I love very much likes to tell this same story but with a cookie instead of a piece of lego. I think it's just because he likes cookies so much (and he makes one hell of a mean peanut butter cookie!), but either way - we understand the same thing:
You had your time to fit with someone that fit you and now it is gone, they're gone, and you should recognize this fact when you are on the search for your next big romance.  This next relationship (if you choose to have one again) will operate differently, it will work differently, it will not be as intense as what you had imagined all those years, and it will not survive on the same terms that you set up long ago.

Everytime I go into my bank branch, my investment adviser likes to ask me whether my investment goals have changed and when I look at her, puzzled, she explains that circumstances change from year to year - or month to month.
So I had to ask myself - Why do we find it so incomprehensible to think that perhaps, our life goals have changed, and our criteria for a partner along with that? That perhaps our "the one", isn't really our one  anymore?
Reevaluate your investment & dating portfolios, and make adjustments accordingly.

Clean Slate

Welcome. I thought it was time for a fresh start.
 I'd like to write about things I know.

I hope you'll enjoy this slightly different direction I'm taking with a new collection of writing.
I'm also inviting some of my close friends - and enemies if i find any - to post on here if they wish to.

Many voices make a choir.